I never intended to become a beer snob. It happened by accident, and gradually over about a year or two. I used to just sip my rum & cokes and stay in that little world of mixed drinks. Having been introduced to beer in my early rock n’ roll years (the 90s) I figured it all tasted as shitty as Miller & Bud. Who knew there was literally a whole wide WORLD of delicious brews?! Not me, until I tried as many of them as I could get my mouth on. Wow, that sentence is so wrong somehow.
Anyway, these are my current favorite beers. I’m an amateur snob though. I don’t know every detail (or really, ANY detail) about how these beers are made and sometimes I get different types of beers confused with other types. Like I know both porters and stouts are dark, but what’s the difference? What’s a lager?? I know it’s lighter, but how’s that different from a pilsener? Frankly, who gives a shit, as long as it tastes great. One thing I know is I don’t care for most pale ales. Too bitter for my tastes. I favor Belgian abbey/trappist ales, and some American versions of the Belgian style, plus stouts (especially chocolate) and oatmeal stouts. I like beer on the sweeter side and my TOP 10 below reflects this.
10. Leffe Blonde
This is a Belgian golden ale that you can get at a reasonable price. There are some more expensive ones like Affligem Blond & the St. Bernardus line but I don’t find those to be noticeably better than Leffe, so this I usually go with this one. I brought a little travel pack of these on ice with me to an outdoor summer concert a few days ago and they go down nice and easy and sparkle in the sunshine. It’s kind of creamy, with a sweet, almost banana-like, flavor. I don’t know what the hell else they do in Belgium besides brew great beer, but that is ok with me. I’ve come to the realization that that is probably how the monasteries ever became popular – if all I did all day was brew awesome beer and pray to God I’d be pretty fucking cheery. The United States needs to get its churches into brewing beer. It will do more for world peace and goodwill than all the doom and gloom bullshit. A drunk monk is happy monk.
9. Hoegaarden
A super reliable, utterly drinkable (meaning multiples or a sixer at a par-tay) summer beer. Made in Belgium of course. They call it a white wheat ale or witbier and the bottle has a fun, bulbous shape. The popular American interpretation of this flavor is Blue Moon, which is actually a decent beer. But Hoegaarden is really the flavor they’re copying, so why not just drink this? Plus it’s inexpensive and easier to find in the northeast as it’s become more popular. I prefer it with an orange slice, though it’s usually served with lemon.
8. Youngs Double Chocolate Stout
I don’t know why, but only the version in the cans tastes right – probably due to the carbonated capsule or whatever that do-hickey is that they stick in there that makes all the air sounds when you open it. I’d skip the bottled version entirely – it didn’t taste right to me. So yeah this is a chocolate beer. If I had known chocolate beer existed I would have taken up drinking a lot sooner. Like maybe age 10.
7. Franziskaner Hefe-Weisse
What I love about this beer is it is imminently drinkable (chain drinking) but affordable and much easier to find that in the past. Again, a lot of sweetness, a nice golden color, overtones of banana and bratwurst. Not really on the bratwurst, but it is in fact a German beer. When I started in on the wheat beers like this one I read a lot about the German and Belgian variations and tried a mess of those. I will not wear lederhosen and neither should you, but I will drink this fine beer.
6. Samuel Smith’s Oatmeal Stout
Fuck yes. I dig almost every Sam Smith beer I’ve tried. This is British-made. The Taddy Porter is great, and so is the Imperial Stout. But much like its chocolate cousin, I am in favor of stouts which sweeten the pot. Guinness is fine if you like that loaf of bread sensation in your mouth, and I think Guinness is just fine for a middle of the road stout, but I prefer the pizzazz of an oatmeal. Especially this fine incarnation. River Horse makes an Oatmeal Milk Stout (yes, really, it has milk in it – tastes toasted like in a café au lait) that is quite good, but this one is heartier. Pours a nice caramel brown.
5. Anderson Valley / Barney Flats Oatmeal Stout
I first came across this one at the bar Abilene in Rochester, NY. It’s a toss up between this and Sam Smiths as to which is actually better. It’s more based on a preference that day. Barney Flats is a little sweeter than Sam Smith and less heavy/dark on the low end. I can generally only drink one or 2 Sam Smith Oatmeal’s back to back, but I have successfully imbibed many many Barney Flats in chain fashion. I think this is brewed in California. They did a nice job.
4. Ommegang Abbey Ale
Another Belgian abbey/trappist style beer. This one clock’s in at a rockin’ 8.5%. If you want to try a similar beer at a lower octane rating I’d suggest the Ommegang Rare Vos (6.5% I believe). It took a long time but we Americans are finally starting to get the hang of how to make a Belgian abbey-style brew. Located in Cooperstown, NY, the Ommegang brewery is the first I ever actually considered visiting. That is how you know you are starting to become a beer snob, when you think of a visit to a brewery as an actual good use of your time. Ommegang has become much more widely available the last few years and is an affordable alternative to some of the higher end Belgian’s like Chimay (see below). Very drinkable too. I can chain choke these down.
3. St. Louis Framboise
A Belgian ‘lambic’ beer – brewed with raspberries. Not some bullshit ‘flavor added’ process like those cheater American beers that try to trick you. But expensive. Except in Belgium says Ray, where they are actually readily available! I may have to become Belgian at some point. Usually sold in 22oz bottles for between $12-$14. I got a stash of them on sale for $8 once which surprised me. This thing pours and smells like wine. Except it’s way better than wine because it’s beer. I have to remember to compare this one to the Lindemans Framboise because I get them confused sometimes and can’t remember which is better or if I even had the Lindemans more than once. But with any real Belgian lambic framboise I really don’t see how one can go wrong. Again, avoid the cheap American ones with flavoring like UFO Raspberry, EBC Grape or whatever it’s called, etc. Those are pointless and should be blotted out of existence.
2. Chimay Red
God I love this beer. I've been sampling many many many Belgian trappist/abbey ales and American versions of that style over the last few years and this is one of the best I’ve had. If there’s a better one out there I haven’t stuck it in my mouth yet. Heh. Yeah, it's kind of the perfect Belgian dubble. With Belgian abbey ales the alcohol content goes up in obvious increments. A standard Abbey ale is usually anywhere from 5-6.5%, then the dubbles (doubles) range 6.5-7.5%, the tripels (triples) jump another percentage or so, and the quads are pretty much the danger zone of 10% or higher. Most quads start to just taste too boozy for me. I like a nice double or triple and they will fuck you up so sweetly. This one is pretty much in the double range at 7%. The Chimay Blue jumps up a bit higher and is also pretty yummy. The last time I was in NYC Eric Starr and I were sharing lots of good life stuff over a pint or 2. Chimay Red is truth serum.
1. Southern Tier Choklat!
Holy shit, this beer is fantastic. ESPECIALLY if you live in the northeast and get a real winter every year. Because as far as I’m concerned you cannot properly enjoy a good stout unless it is almost freezing outside, or colder. I live in BUFFALO and this is where it tastes best! Yeah, so it’s a chocolate beer. Which is almost like a milkshake beer (or a White Russian for that matter) and I am in favor of milkshake beer. Not only that but this bad boy is 11% alcohol! The first time I bought the 22oz bottle I had it with pasta. Me and my then-girlfriend cooked together (oh yeah pasta is so HARD to make, right?) and then I drank the whole bottle over dinner. I don’t know if I realized it was that high octane but I will say it was the most pleasant punch in the face I have ever experienced. I started making super random jokes while the synapses in my brain did loopy loops and I do remember bouncing on the bed at some point. My ex found this very amusing except I totally fell asleep on her. I think she was ready for some sexy time but I was toast.
Honorable Mentions: Boddingtons, Erdinger Hefe-weisse, Leinenkugel’s Sunset Wheat, 8 Ball Stout, River Horse Oatmeal Milk Stout, Sam Smith Pale Ale, Old Rasputin Imperial Stout, Pranqster Belgian Golden Ale, Grimbergen Blonde Abbey Ale
Beers I Must Try Soon: Southern Tier’s Crème-Brule! Cantillon Framboise, Lindemans Framboise